Cheater’s Guilt: How to Deal With It
While cheating is a deplorable act, it is imperative to not hold onto this guilt until you die. Here's how you can deal with cheater's guilt.
Whether it was a one-time thing, something deliberate, or fate leading you to your destiny via the wrong way, you have damaged someone deeply, shattered their trust and probably dismantled the way they view love and relationships. While the act is disgusting, you must not beat yourself up for the rest of your life, remind yourself that you’re human and if you want to grow and enter an honest relationship, you have to forgive yourself. Here’s how you can deal with cheater’s guilt.
No one makes stellar decisions, we all make mistakes– as cliché as that phrase is, it is true. Now that it’s done, it’s time to let go of that cheater’s guilt.
The first and paramount step of forgiving yourself for any transgression is acceptance. Accept what your misdemeanour, you have to acknowledge it. This is going to hurt but you must be able to openly tell yourself, ‘I cheated’. You were selfish and disrespected your partner and relationship by putting your wants above your promises.
Now to deal with this cheater’s guilt, you HAVE to come clean. You need cannot hide from your transgression. You need to face it head-on. Take responsibility. Own it. It’s not at all easy to straight-up tell your partner that you’ve cheated on them, it hurts, yes but you should’ve thought of this when you were busy being a cheat. You have already violated your relationship so now respect and acknowledge your partner’s fundamental right, which is for them to know the truth.
If you want to escape that cheater’s guilt, you need to understand that you cannot turn back time. You’ve done something extremely cowardly, so now what? Evaluate. Begin by looking for signs that made you cheat in the first place. Do you find other people to be more attractive than your current partner? Do you find yourself fantasizing about other people instead of your partner? Are you not fulfilled in your current relationship? Asking yourself these questions is a perfect starting point for self-forgiveness, self-acceptance and what you want in relationships.
The process of dealing with your cheater’s guilt is an opportunity to assess your relationship and evaluate whether you are ready for a monogamous commitment that a relationship requires. Moreover, if you’re a serial cheater and are going to cheat again, you may be better off without a monogamous committed relationship.
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