8 Ways You Can Make People Feel Heard and Seen

Feeling seen and heard is a fundamental human need whereby humans can understand and feel understood. Therein, for our interpersonal relationships to prosper, we must make a conscious effort to ensure that those around us feel seen, heard and understood.

Here are eight ways you can effectively communicate to others that they are seen, heard and understood.

Give them the attention they require; be present

There is nothing worse than hanging out with someone who means a lot to you, whether its a family member, friend or partner and they don’t feel present. Midway through the conversation, they begin using their phone, start looking around the room or just don’t feel present or interested. It leaves us feeling like a burden, dismissed and disrespected – regardless of the intention. Therefore, we must realise that giving the other person undivided attention is one of the greatest gifts you can give.

Listening actively

Active listening entails attentively listening to the other person speak without planning a response while they speak. This way you will not make assumptions and will be more clear in understanding their issue(s) while making them feel heard.

Listening reflectively 

Once they have stopped speaking, make sure to say something like “I hear what you are saying” or “I can see how that must have made you feel.” You could even validate them further by paraphrasing what they’ve said to show that you attentively heard everything they said. Reflective listening is an essential technique in making others feel heard.

Be comforting and approachable

Feeling comfortable and welcomed while discussing your issue(s) drastically improves the experience. Try and make an effort to create and hold some space for them. After all, there is a reason most of us feel so comfortable, welcomed, seen, heard and liberated in a therapist’s room – they hold space for us to open up most comfortably.

Avoid judgement

It is imperative to listen without any judgement or criticism. Even if you disagree with someone’s actions or ideas, try first to sympathise to offer compassion and non-judgment. However, do not say something you don’t agree with, give opinions that might be in their best interest.

Validate

There is no right or wrong way of feeling things. The way you feel about a particular situation is and should be the only way you feel. Just because others feel like its, not the right way, that is completely inapplicable to you because they aren’t the ones suffering. An effective and simple way of emotionally validating someones feelings or experience(s) is by using phrases such as, “I understand why that would have made you feel that way.” Remember, you are trying to make them feel seen and heard.

Respect boundaries

When someone comes to us, they most often just want space to express themselves freely. Try to practice listening without the need to offer a solution or give your opinion unless you are asked for one. Respect the other person’s boundaries. Always ask before saying something.

Reassure their importance to you 

If this is someone who genuinely means a lot to you, then make sure you let them know that they mean a lot to you. Sometimes all they require is a reassurance of their worth, closure and affection.
What better way to make someone feel heard and seen by telling them that you love them for everything that they are.

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