Self-Sabotage – Why Do We Do It?
Tracing and understanding the roots to why we self-sabotage can help us to find solutions to a more content and less struggled life.
By definition, ‘self-sabotage is when we actively or passively take steps to prevent ourselves from reaching our goals.’ Self-sabotaging arises as thoughts and/or behaviours that undermine our best interests and conscious intentions.
Although self-sabotaging is a common phenomenon that we often identify in ourselves or close friends, it is an incredibly frustrating cycle of behaviour that deteriorates our self-confidence and leave us feeling conflicted. We invite the harmful repercussions of self-sabotage without realising it and because self-sabotage takes place at the back of our mind, we are unaware of it, failing to recognise why how we’re feeling in the moment. Herein, self-sabotage eventually wears away our motivation and drive, therefore when we fail time and again to reach our goals, we can’t identify why; we become irritated and stop trying.
Identifying why we self-sabotage
Wanting control– When we are in control we feel better and are able to anticipate negative outcomes. Although it is not something we desire, through self-sabotaging thought pattern, it makes us feel that we are in control of our failure.
Fear of failure– Those who self-sabotage feel that despite giving their all towards a specific task, they still will not achieve their desired goal. It is easier for us to identify reasons as to why we failed than to truly give it your all and still not succeed. When we anticipate failure beforehand, we begin behaving in a manner that ensures failure. When we think things like “I’m going to fail this exam anyways” we replace our responsibility in obtaining a positive outcome.
Low self-esteem/ self-worth– When we self-sabotage and if we repeatedly tell ourselves that we are not good enough to achieve what we want, we will automatically start to behave according to what we are telling ourselves. When we lack confidence, we act in ways to stop ourselves from doing things with our fullest potential.
We fear success– Stemming from low self-confidence is another struggle- not feeling worth the success we have achieved. This makes us worry that we truly aren’t qualified or prepared. This fear of success leads us to engage in self-sabotaging behaviour such as things that limit our success.
Examples of self-sabotage
While for those who self-sabotage occasionally, the consequences are minimal, however for those whom it is a chronic pattern, the repercussions affect their daily lives and relationships.
The most common actions of self-sabotaging behaviours include procrastination, stress eating, commitment issues, substance abuse, being late to events on purpose to avoid interactions. When these behaviours become consistent patterns with evident consequences, that’s when it’s worth looking at more carefully.
Solutions
When in the process of trying to overcome self-sabotaging, begin by asking yourself questions for more self-awareness and clarity. Ask questions such as
- Am I avoiding what needs to be done?
- Am I not prioritizing self-care?
- Am I always procrastinating?
- Am I focusing on self-defeating thoughts?
These will help you trace moments where you have self-sabotaged and why you did so.
Once you identify why you are demonstrating self-sabotaging behaviour then start taking steps to rise above self-sabotage and overcome this self-destructive behaviour. Take time to evaluate what is truly holding you back.
About Us
Runway Pakistan is a complete solution provider for all your marketing communications related requirements. The ultimate hub of infotainment – Runway composes of all the key offerings – Monthly Print Magazine, Digital Magazine, Media Production, Creative Agency, PR Agency, and Marketing Consultancy that a brand needs to be seen, heard, and known!
Like and follow our Facebook page:
Runway Pakistan