What To Do To Make Others Happy?
For close friends, we do much more, hear more, and sympathise more than others. Research by MacCann and Tanna shows this too.
People constantly control one other’s emotions throughout the day. We are all trying to impact the emotions of others around us. When you govern someone else’s emotions, four things happen:
1. Recognizing the necessity for regulation. Before you do something, you must evaluate if it is worthwhile to try to influence someone else’s emotions. Are they angry? Will the bad emotion last? Will an effort to assist be fruitful (or will it backfire)? If you get yes, you may opt to engage and attempt to manipulate the other person’s feelings.
2. Choosing which techniques to employ. You might attempt a couple of different approaches to assist the other individual. You might try to divert their attention away from the situations that are giving them distress (distraction). To make them laugh, you may say something funny or do something foolish (humour). You might listen compassionately while they air their grievances (social sharing). You may try to persuade them to see situations in a less stressful light (reappraisal). You may even try to resolve the root of their concern by resolving the issue.
3. Put your unique regulatory approaches into action. Once you’ve decided what to do, you must carry it out.
4. Check to see whether it’s functioning. Once you’ve attempted regulation, you must watch how it is taken and determine when to discontinue or alter techniques for something more successful.
Emotion regulation can go wrong at any of these stages. You can miss the fact that a buddy is sad. You might try to tackle the situation immediately when all your buddy truly wants is for you to pay heed to what they are saying. You may say something funny that they don’t think is humorous or even insulting. Finally, if your effort at comedy was badly received, you may fail to pivot to a different technique.
Victoria Tanna and MacCann did a research on the topic of the difference between what people say when asked about their close friend compared to someone they don’t know and found four main differences:
1. People were much more inclined to undertake regulation for a close buddy. In other words, they were more inclined to see the necessity for regulation.
2. People are far more likely to utilise a responsive listening method for their closest buddy. That is, they were much more inclined to choose the social sharing option.
3. People were more inclined to judge their closest friend’s endeavour as successful. They demonstrated a stronger regulatory ego for the specific interventions.
4. For their closest buddy, people felt more sympathy for the other individual. That is, they were both more aware of and concerned about how other individuals felt.
This study demonstrates that when it comes to external emotional processing (attempting to affect the emotions of others), we do not regard everybody the same. What individuals do to make others feel better varies according to who the others are. When we try to control someone else’s feelings, we exert far more effort on individuals we care about. This might be a significant mental health advantage of having close pals. Someone will make an attempt to sympathise with you, make you smile, and hear you express your feelings.
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